Question

Salaams,

I required some advice in regards to my current situation.

My husband and I have recently been married, and due to pressure from family and anxiety building up, my husband wrote 3 talaks to me on a paper and this was handed to me.

At the time I was not in a pure state.

Both me and my husband are repenting and wish to reconcile. I am still in my iddah period.

Can you please advice if there is a way we can reconcile and become one again

Answer

1. The law is that Talaaq given while the wife is in her menstrual cycle, although it is a sin, it is valid (legally binding).
2. Talaaq given on paper is also valid. It will be valid from the time it is written. The only time it is not valid is if the man is forced to such an extent that he genuinely fears losing his life or severe harm to the body.
3. It is impermissible to give all three Talaaq together, however, all three are regarded valid (legally binding).

Question

• Wife wants a divorce from husband but her husband refuses to give. She wants to apply for a khula, what is the correct way?
• She wants a divorce on the following grounds; husband has anger problems, wife doesn't feel safe with husband, mother-in-law is manipulative, husband refuses to provide separate house for wife, stops wife visiting her parent's house.
• Can a wife demand a khula? What if the husband refuses?

Al-Jawaab

Without a valid reason, it is forbidden to demand a divorce from the husband. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,

"Whichever woman, without reason, asked her husband for a divorce, then the fragrance of Jannah is forbidden for her".

In another Hadith, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ regarded the woman who seeks khula' from her husband as a hypocrite. This is without doubt when the khula' is sought without a valid reason. Otherwise, when there is a valid reason for seeking khula', it is permissible. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala said in the Quran,

الطَّلاقُ مَرَّتانِ فَإِمساكٌ بِمَعروفٍ أَو تَسريحٌ بِإِحسانٍ وَلا يَحِلُّ لَكُم أَن تَأخُذوا مِمّا آتَيتُموهُنَّ شَيئًا إِلّا أَن يَخافا أَلّا يُقيما حُدودَ اللَّهِ فَإِن خِفتُم أَلّا يُقيما حُدودَ اللَّهِ فَلا جُناحَ عَلَيهِما فيمَا افتَدَت بِهِ تِلكَ حُدودُ اللَّهِ فَلا تَعتَدوها وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدودَ اللَّهِ فَأُولئِكَ هُمُ الظّالِمونَ

In this verse of Surah Al-Baqarah, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala has allowed the woman to seek a divorce in exchange of the dowry she was given at the time of Nikah if they both believe they are unable to fulfil the rights of each other. This is known as Khula'. If this is the case and the failure to fulfil the rights is from the husband then it is not permissible for him to demand anything in exchange of the divorce, not even the dowry he paid at the time of nikah. If the failure is from the woman, then he may ask for the dowry and also freedom from paying her provision while she is in Iddah, to ask for anything more is disliked in Shariah although permitted.

It is important to note here that Khula' only occurs with the pleasure of the husband because, in reality, it is a divorce. It issues an irrevocable divorce which is known as a Talaaq Baa'in. In Fataawa Ridwiyya, it says,

"By law, Khula' is when the husband with his pleasure frees the woman from the Nikah in exchange of the dowry and other wealth. The woman can not do it alone."

It is summarised in Hidayah in these words,

"If the husband and wife keep arguing and fear they are unable to abide by the boundaries of Allah then there is no harm in her freeing herself in exchange of wealth (khula') and when they do Khula', a Talaaq Baa'in will occur and the wealth agreed upon is necessary upon the woman".

The condition for Khula' is that the woman accepts the offer and it only occurs with the use of certain wording and the mention of an amount in exchange. If the husband said, 'I have done Khula' with you', without mentioning an amount of wealth in exchange then this is a Talaaq and not Khula' whereby it would be dependant on her agreeing or accepting it. However, if he said, 'I have done Khula' with you in exchange for the dowry I paid at the time of Nikah', then it is dependant on the agreement of the wife. If she said, 'I accept this' then Khula' has occurred and a Talaaq Baa'in is issued, she will go into Iddah and after the Iddah, she will be free to marry another and the amount mentioned will be necessarily due. If they decide to get back together then they may do so with a new Nikah whether it is before she finishes the Iddah or after.

Khula' ends all the rights of each other that were due because of the Nikah between the two. However, the responsibility of provision for the wife will remain upon the husband while she is in Iddah unless he has freed himself from it in the words used for Khula' that she accepted.

From the reasons mentioned in the questions, anger, is quite a normal attribute of man but the mention of feeling unsafe implies that he is physically abusing her. If this is the case and she fears for her life or harm to her body limbs then she has the right to involve other people into the relationship and seek a divorce. If this anger has no valid reason but rather is due to his own frustrations and stress then such man is from the worst of people and Allah and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ are displeased with such a person. She must act now and not burden herself with such abuse, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala has said,

لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها

Allah does not burden a soul but that which it is capable of.

As for a separate house, this is from the rights of the woman that are upon the husband when he does Nikah with her. It is mentioned in the general books of Islamic Law such as Radd Al-Muhtar and Alamgiri that one of the major parts of provision for the wife is to give her an empty house which means that the Husband's relations do not live there. She has the right to demand a separate house which entails her own room with a door that can be closed, her own toilet and bathroom and her own kitchen. This is necessary upon the husband especially if her in-laws are troubling her. If her in-laws do not trouble her, and she agrees to live together then he is free from this responsibility but it appears in the question that this is not the case. Based on this, if what is mentioned in the question is fact then she has the right to demand a divorce and he has no right to ask for anything in exchange.

As for visiting her parents, she has the right to visit her parents once a week and the husband does not have the right to stop her from this. He may stop her from staying over but not from visiting in the day and her parents also have the right to visit her once a week which again the husband does not have the right to prevent and if her parents or any other Mahaarim merely want to see her then the husband does not have the right to stop them at anytime. This is mentioned in Bahare Shariat. If the husband is violating this right of his wife then this too is a valid reason for her to seek a divorce and Allah knows best.

Faqeer Zahid Hussain Al-Qadiri

Question

Assalamualykum. Is kissing and foreplay allowed with wife during fasting. What is the ruling on fast if madhiyy is produced during fasting. Is having a bath necessary after madhiyy. Also same question regarding ruling on fast and requirement of bath after emisssion of maniyy. May you be rewarded.

Answer

Wa alaykumussalam,

Kissing, touching and embracing a woman whilst in the state of fasting is makruh (disliked) and prohibited (mamnu') when the individual fears that due to being aroused from such he may either ejaculate or become impatient and indulge in sexual intercourse because of it. If, however, such a fear does not exist, then it is not makruh [al-Fatawa al-Ridawiyyah 10/552; Radd al-Muhtar 2/122-123]. 

Also, in the state of fasting, al-mubasharat al-fahishah is unconditionally makruh, even if there is no fear of ejaculating or becoming indulged in intercourse. Al-mubasharat al-fahishah is when a naked man and a naked woman embrace each other whereby the male's private part touches the female's private part [Radd al-Muhtar 2/122].

The emission of maniyy (semen) will break the fast and will also necessitate ghusl if it is due to being aroused from kissing a woman or touching her or al-mubasharat al-fahishah [Radd al-Muhtar; al-Fatawa al-Ridawiyyah].

If, however, the man does not touch the woman but due to arousal ejaculates by merely gazing at the woman's naked body, then the fast will not break. Although ghusl will still be necessary upon him. 

It is in al-Durr al-Mukhtar:

"If one ejaculates by looking, even if it is by looking at her private parts repeatedly, the fast will not break"

[al-Durr al-Mukhtar 1/152]

The emission of madhiyy whilst fasting, whether with or without lust, will not break the fast or ghusl. However, it will break one's wudu. As it is impure, it should be washed off the body and clothing before praying salah. 

And Allah knows best
Muhammad Kalim
6 Safar 1438

Verified by Mufti Zahid Hussain al-Qadiri

Question

Asalaamualaykum Mufti Sahib, I have a couple of questions;

1) Is it preferred to get married young? I’m 19 and wish to get married but especially in culture I’ll be seen as too young, immature etc. Also is it allowed for me and my wife to live separately, whilst we are at university? This is a way to reduce any haraam and sins. And then move in together after university?

2) are they any wazaif you could give me for depression, and fulfilling ones wishes, and for happiness?

3) are there any wazaif someone can read on behalf of someone who has been raped/sexually assaulted? So Allah Ta’ala eases their pain and makes it easy for them.

4) what’s the Sunnah way of getting married? Like having the nikaah, Sunnah acts that should be done and fulfilled. As I want my wedding to be exactly like the Sunnah inshaAllah. JazakAllah Khair, and sorry for so many questions! May Allah Ta’ala reward you for this beautiful service you’ve started MashaAllah.

Answer

Wa Alaykum Al-Salam

Al-Jawaab:

1. It is preferred that people get married at a young age if they have the financial and physical capability to fulfil the rights of their spouse. In the thirty second and thirty third verses of Surah Al-Noor, Allah the Creator has said,

“And marry those off who are single amongst you and the pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them by His grace. And Allah is the All Capable All Knowing. And those who do not have the means to get married must keep chaste till Allah gives them independence by His grace.”

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,

“O community of the young! He, who possesses the financial and physical capability to marry from amongst you, should get married, because it lowers the gaze (from looking towards ghayr mahaarim) and protects the private parts (from sin). And he who does not possess the capability to marry then he should fast because it (fasting) kills the desires.”

The Quran and Sunnah advise us to have our youth married at a young age if they are financially and physically capable of fulfilling the rights of each other. As long as the financial capability is present and enough, one should not delay marriage waiting for more finances because Allah has promised to enrich those who marry if they are poor. It is also important to note that in order to protect the society and community from filthy sins, it is important to marry the youth at young ages. It is clear that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ advised that marriage protects the gaze from looking towards those men and women that are unlawful for him/her and it also protects the private parts from desiring the unlawful men and women. Although following this advice will not completely eradicate the rising instances of fornication, adultery and rape, it will certainly help decrease them.

Those people who have not had the opportunity to get married and feel uncontrollable desires which distract them from their daily work and concentration should consider fasting or even eating less and remaining slightly hungry. This reduces their sexual desires and prevents the satan from controlling their desires and Allah knows best.

Once a person is married, the person must fulfil the rights of the spouse. There is no harm in living separately due to a necessity such as education or work purposes. However, it is important to ensure that they do not stay away from each other for more than four months at a time. The leader of the believers, Sayyiduna Umar Allah is pleased with him, ordered the people during his Khilaafah that every man must not stay away from his spouse for more than four months. This law that Sayyiduna Umar Allah is pleased with him legislated is in order to prevent any unlawful happening whilst the man is away from his wife and vice versa and Allah knows best.

2. To prevent depression or even cure depression and to attain happiness one should recite the Quran daily at a set time, preferably in the morning at the time of Fajr or after the Sun has risen high. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,

“Indeed he who does not have anything from the Quran inside his body is like an empty house.”

Those who do not recite the Quran or do not know anything from the Quran off by heart are vulnerable to spiritual illnesses such as depression. The more a person recites the Quran or memorises it, the more happier and content he/she will feel. The body becomes enlightened and if Allah wills, the person will be protected from all spiritual and virtual illnesses.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also said,

“Indeed these hearts rust in the same way as metal does when it comes in contact with water. It was said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! And what is the cure for it?’ He, peace and blessings be upon him said: ‘To frequently remember death and to recite the Quran.’”

This tradition advises us to remember death and recite the Quran in order to fuel and give life to one’s heart and keep it clean and content. The Quran is a very powerful cure for many illnesses and diseases and must not be forsaken. The household in which the residents recite the Quran daily will see many blessings and much happiness in their lives and the household will be protected from all types of evil. Reciting Salawaat upon our Master and Saviour of Mankind Muhammed ﷺ and reciting the Qaseedah Al-Burdah of Imam Sharf Al-Deen Al-Buseri Al-Misri is also very beneficial in curing depression and attaining happiness in life and Allah knows best.

3. A person who has faced or is facing a calamity of any sort that has caused much distress should frequently recite the Tarjee’,

إِنّا لِلَّـهِ وَإِنّا إِلَيهِ رجِعونَ

Those who recite the Tarjee’ upon being conflicted with a calamity or misfortune are favoured by Allah and are showered with mercy and guidance as has been mentioned in Surah Al-Baqarah (Verse: 155, 156, 157),

“And surely we shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient ones. Those who say; when a misfortune strikes them: Indeed we belong to Allah and indeed unto Him we will return. Those are the people upon whom are the blessings from their Lord, and mercy. It is they who are on guidance.”

The person should recite the Tarjee’ themselves and others may also recite it when hearing of or remembering the misfortune and Allah knows best.

4. The preferred things in a marriage ceremony that have been mentioned in Bahare Shariat are the following:

a. The Nikah should be publicised and happen in the open and not discreet and hidden in closed doors, so that people become aware that these two people are now lawful marital partners.

b. A short sermon should be delivered before the Nikah and it is better to deliver the sermon recorded from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

c. It is preferred that the Nikah happens in a Masjid.

d. It is preferred that the Nikah happens on a Friday.

e. It is preferred that the Nikah happens in the presence of pious and reliable witnesses.

f. It is preferred that the bride be less in age, family status, wealth and respect than the groom.

g. It is preferred that the bride be more in good character, manners, piety and beauty than the groom.

Apart from the aforementioned, it is rewarding to provide food for the guests and to dress in clean and pure clothes and it is Sunnah to hold a Waleemah the next day or the day after. One may spend, adorn and magnify the occasion in accordance to his/her financial ability bearing in mind that it is forbidden to waste. It is important to note that Music and dancing is forbidden in Shariah and so it must not occur in a wedding ceremony and over expenditure for glamorising the occasion whereby the bride, groom or their parents or guardians fall in to debts is also forbidden. It is also impermissible to touch, hug and kiss ghyar mahaarim from the opposite gender even if they are relatives or aunts and uncles. It is also forbidden to imitate the non Muslims and therefore those men and women who dress as though it is a Christian wedding should take heed. Therefore suits with ties, sleeveless wedding dresses with an open neck, as well as dresses where more material than what the actual body dress contains is dragged on the floor, are all forbidden. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ, quite clearly warned that those who imitate a people are from amongst them and that they will rise amongst them on the day of resurrection and Allah the Almighty knows all.

Zahid Hussain Al-Qadiri
(Beggar at the doorstep of Scholars)
29th Thu Al-Hijjah 1436 AH

Question

As-salam alaikum
Why does Islam allow cousin marriage if it is exclusively for our Dearest Prophet and not for followers as mentioned in Quran 33:50? I do not understand why in the Ayat after the mention of cousins it is said "it is exclusively for you not for followers".

Answer

Wa Alaykum Al-Salam

The answer with the help of Allah the All Powerful:
In this particular part of the verse from Surah Al-Ahzaab (Verse: 50), Allah the Almighty has informed His beloved Messenger ﷺ that that he ﷺ may marry a woman without a dowry whether she is from his cousins or not. As for the believers, it is necessary upon them to give their women a dowry whether it is prefixed or not and whether it is mentioned at the time of nikah or not.

It says in Khazaa’in Al-Irfaan under this particular part of this verse,

“This means that nikah without dowry is specifically permissible for you and not for the Ummah. Dowry is wajib upon the (men of the) Ummah even if the dowry was not prefixed and even if the man denies the dowry.”

This can clearly be understood by reading the rest of the verse where Allah has mentioned that He has fixed (dowry) upon the believing men for their wives and that this specific rule of dowry not being necessary upon the Messenger of Allah ﷺ is to remove any hardship from him.

This can also be understood by carefully reading the former part of this verse where Allah has included ‘any believing woman’ with the mention of the cousins. If from this verse, someone ignorantly understood that marrying the cousins is specifically for the Prophet ﷺ then he must also understand that marrying any believing woman is also specifically for the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him. This would mean that Muslim men cannot marry any woman at all because marriage with non Muslims is already forbidden in other verses.

This is why it is important that one must not try to deduce rules from the Quran himself and must study the Quran under a teacher or with an authentic book of tafseer (commentary) that has been authored for the general public.

In Surah Al-Baqarah it says,

“He (Allah) misguides many by it (the Quran) and guides many by it.”

As for reciting the Quran, every individual should recite as much as they can whenever they can after learning the correct manner of recitation. I recommend that one should read Khazaa’in Al-Irfan with Kanz Al-Imaan and Allah knows all.

Faqeer Zahid Hussain Al-Qadiri
2nd Thu Al-Hijjah 1436 AH

Answer:

After looking at various references regarding the age of our beloved mother Sayyidah A'ishah (Allah is pleased with her) at the time of her nikah with the best of all men (peace be upon him), i understand that she was 16-17 years old, and not 6; and the marriage was later solemnised when she was 19 years old and not 9.

The nikah took place 10 years after the announcment of prophethood in 620 CE and Ibn Hisham in his Seerah writes that Sayyidah A'ishah along with Sayyiduna Ali (Allah is pleased with them both) were the first children to accept Islam. This would mean Sayyidah A'ishah had been born before the announcement of prophethood.

According to some of the Historians, she was born in 605 CE which means she was around 15-16 years old at the time of Hijrah and 19 when moved in with the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Most historians have said she passed away at the age of 67 and Imam Al-Usfuri and Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal have recorded that she passed away 50 years after Hijrah, 672 CE. If you do the maths, it should tell us the age of Sayyidah A'shah (Allah is pleased with her) at the time of birth and then marriage too.

And verily Allah knows best.

Zahid Hussain Al-Qadri
(Beggar at the doorstep of Scholars) 

Question:

As salaamu alikum.
I would like to know weather a husband can use condom/contraception whilst performing intercourse with his wife. Does islam give permission for it.

Answer:

Using a condom in Islamic Law is permissible if it is a mutual agreement between the husband and wife and there is a valid reason for not planning to have a child. If the wife is not happy with the husband using contraception and vice versa then it is disliked and in some cases maybe severely disliked depending on the reason and severity of disagreement. Also, the contraception used must not be made of any impurity such as extracts from an unlawful animal.

The purpose of a condom is to stop the male's sperm from meeting the female's egg which is known as "Azl" in Arabic. The companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) practiced this and the Quran or the Messenger (peace be upon him) never forbade it.

The honorable Jabir (Allah is pleased with him) narrates,

"We used to practice azl whilst the Quran was being revealed (in the time of the Prophet)" (Bukhari)

There is an addition in Muslim,

"And this news reached the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he never prohibited us from it".

This act of avoiding pregnancy must be due to a valid reason.

A relevant example for those who live in Europe is the fear of the child not being given a Islamic environment. Imam Ibn Al-Hummam writes in his masterpiece, Fath Al-Qadeer,

"It is better to practice "Azl" for partners living in a non Dar Al-Islam country where there is fear that the child will not be a pious and practicing Muslim".

If there is no valid reason then the pleasure of Allah is that you give birth to children and be pleased with the way of nature chosen by Allah and increase the human race and add to it's continuity. This is the pleasure of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as he said,

"I will be proud of the size of my nation (ummah) compared to the other nations on the day of Judgement".

May Allah give us all children that become pious and add value to the societies they live in.

And verily Allah knows best.

Zahid Hussain Al-Qadri
(Beggar at the doorstep of scholars) 

Question:

AssalamuAlaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu..

I have some questions regarding marriage. After some days i am going to marry and want to know some legal and illegal activities during intercourse.

1) Can wife and husband completely naked while intercourse or need to have some clothes on them.

2) Can Wife and Husband see each others private parts?

3) Can Husband kiss on his wifes private parts?

Please tell me regarding this. I have read some books but dont know whether they are authentic or not. Some references says all are permissible and some says Cannot kiss wifes private parts(sexual parts) and can be completely naked.

some says cannot be completely naked and cannot see each others private parts.

I have searched a lot and now completely helpless regarding this issue. Please answer my questions so that i may not do any illegal activities.

JazakAllahu Khairan.

Answer:

1. It is disliked to be completely naked whilst intercourse as the messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

"When one of you enjoys intercourse with his wife, he should cover themselves and not be completely naked like donkeys" (Ibn Majah)

The scholars have said that there is fear of the child being obscene, immoral or sinful if the husband and wife are completely naked whilst intercourse.

2. When husband and wife are not enojoying intercourse it is fine to be completely naked in front of each other as Allah says in the Quran,

"They are your clothing and you are their clothing" (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse: 187).

However, Muslims should not remain completely naked without necessity as there is fear of exposure to the creation of Allah.

3. The private parts of the human body are Taahir (clean and pure) as long as there is no visual impurity. Therefore it is permissible to touch one's own private parts or the private parts of one's marital partner. The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

"I do not care whether i touch my nose or my private part (as they are both taahir, clean and pure)". (Muwatta Imam Muhammad).

There are also other narrations in the Muwatta of Imam Muhammad that establish it is fine to touch the private part as it is clean and pure. Some companions would reply to someone who asked, "Cut it off if you think it is impure".

However, Islam teaches purity, physically and spiritually and therefore it is disliked to touch the private part of one's marital partner with the mouth. The mouth is used to recite the Quran and Hadith and also to take the name of Allah and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It is not an act of the pious. Some scholars have regarded it as impermissible. Thus one should abstain from such.

And Allah knows best,

Zahid Hussain Al-Qadri
(Beggar at the doorstep of scholars)