Question

I struggle to control myself/my desires or wants. As soon as I get an idea in my head it doesn't seem to go away and then that just leads to regret at the end. Is there a way that will help me fight off these ideas/temptations?

Answer with the help of Allah the Almighty

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala created life and death to test us and to determine which of us adopt  good conduct and which of us adopt evil. In the second verse of Surah Al-Mulk, Allah says:

“He is the One who created life and death so that He may try you which of you are best in conduct; and he is the Mighty, the Forgiving.”

This, and many other verses and traditions from the Sunnah establish the fact that life is full of trials and tribulations, which results in one being inclined or pulled towards good or evil. It is important to know that Allah has created us in a manner that we are susceptible and vulnerable to evil. For example in the Quran it says:

“Man is created weak”

And in a Hadith it says:

“Every son of Adam is a Khattaa'(commits mistakes) and the best of the Khattaa'een (plural of Khatta') are the Tawwaaboon (repenters).”

This pull towards evil is caused by the evil nafs, which Allah has mentioned in the Quran. This nafs is aggravated by the shaytaan. It is mentioned in a Hadith that Allah creates one with every child when born; this is a shaytaan which whispers to the nafs. These whispers cause the nafs to incline or pull its host towards evil and regretful acts. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'aala has emphasised many times in the Quran that shaytaan is a clear enemy; and he who follows the steps of shaytaan will be thrown in to the hell fire.

Allah has also provided us with the Malaa'ikah (Angels), who are immune from sin and are guides for mankind. Again, there is a Hadith that Allah creates one with every child that is born and this Angel stays with him throughout his life. Again, this Angel whispers to the good nafs, which has also been mentioned in the Quran (Nafs Mutma'innah), and then the nafs pulls its host or causes it to incline towards good.

This battle between good and evil is to control the hearts of men. Once control over the heart is established, the mind automatically surrenders to the heart. The heart feeds the mind with desires, temptations and ideas and the mind controls the rest of the body, which are ample to perform or commit the act, in order to bring the good or the evil act in to existence. This is why the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us that if the heart is fine, then the whole body is fine; and if the heart is faulty, then so is all.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised that the heart is where the Taqwa is. Taqwa is the fear of Allah. If evil takes over the heart, then man is stripped from the fear of Allah and then he surrenders himself to the realms of evil, where he has no control over his desires.

The Messenger of Allah warned us that when man commits a sin, a black spot appears on his heart. When he commits another sin, another spot appears and so on until his whole heart becomes black and that is when evil has complete domination.

In the same manner, if good takes over the heart, the heart is filled with noor (light) rather than darkness; and once filled with light, it hosts the fear of Allah and this enters man into the realm of spirituality and closeness to Allah, the Almighty.

This is the actual cause that Allah has created, as a means of all good and evil performed or committed by man.

From the Quran and Sunnah, the Sufi Scholars have established that one's control over his desires is based on the strength of his good and evil whisperer and nafs. The more one surrenders to the shaytaan and commits evil, the stronger the shaytaan becomes and the evil nafs becomes dominant over the heart and vice versa.

Thus, the questions are: how can man strengthen his Angel, the good nafs and protect himself from the shaytaan and the evil nafs? And also: how can one keep his heart free from darkness and full of light?

The Quran, Sunnah and the Scholars have advised us of ways to protect ourselves and help ourselves in all stages, mentioned above. There is advice on how to strengthen the Angel, the good nafs and to produce light in the heart. Likewise, there is advice on how to weaken the shaytaan, the evil nafs and to clean the heart from the blackness.

First and foremost is the belief in Allah. The stronger one's faith in Allah, the stronger the whispers of good become. Once a person establishes faith in the heart, he is automatically inclined towards good and away from evil; however, the shaytaan tries to create doubt by whispering to the nafs. These doubts can be eradicated through knowledge, reciting the Quran, chanting the zikr of Allah and many other pious acts and deeds. The main goal of shaytaan is to take your faith in Allah, cause you to reject Allah and then send you into eternal damnation and destruction. The shaytaan exhausts all his tricks and efforts to achieve this.

Imam Fakhr Al-Deen Al-Raazi was one of the greatest scholars of his time and yet, shaytaan did not give up on his goal. Even when the Imam was near his death, he whispered doubt in his nafs, which aggravated the heart and then occupied the mind. Imam Al-Raazi provided evidence after evidence to prove the existence and oneness of Allah, yet shaytaan continued to counter and disprove the evidences until he had countered and disproved a hundred pieces of evidence that Imam Al-Raazi had provided. 

All praise belongs to Allah, the Spiritual Guide and Sheikh of Imam Al-Raazi was performing ablution in a completely different place at this moment, but proclaimed to his Mureed Al-Raazi to tell the shaytaan that I believe in the existence of Allah and His oneness without any evidence at all. Upon this, the shaytaan retreated and disappeared. From this, therefore, one can understand the extent of misguidance shaytaan can cause and also the benefit of having a capable and complete Spiritual Guide and Sheikh.

The zikr of Allah is also very effective in eradicating the whispers of evil and strengthening the good. When a person proclaims the name of Allah or proclaims the testimony of Laa Ilaaha Illa Allah, the shaytaan is struck and harmed, which causes weakness in him. This is why the Scholars have advised that when one does the zikr of Allah, he should move his head down towards the heart as though striking the heart with the name of Allah. This shatters the blackness on the heart and removes it, cleans it and then fills it with light. This type of zikr is very useful in removing the evil desires and ideas from the heart and mind.

Reciting ta'awwuz is also another remedy that Allah has given in the Quran, in order to seek refuge in Allah from the damned and cursed shaytaan. This is done in order to remove these evil desires and thoughts that have occupied the heart and mind. This is why, when a person wishes to recite the Quran, Allah says:

“Then seek refuge in Allah”

So that before you begin your recitation, all the evil thoughts and desires in your heart and mind are removed, because they can potentially distract your recitation. For this reason, many Scholars advise to practice the recitation of ta'awwuz eleven times in the night and eleven times in the morning, in order to keep the night and day free from the evil thoughts of the shaytaan.

Surah Al-Naas is a specifically effective remedy for the removal of these desires taught to us by Allah, the All Knowing,

“Say: I have come in to the refuge of He who is the Lord of all people, The King of all people, The Master of all people, From the evil of the hiding whisperer, Who whispers in the hearts of the people, from amongst the Jinn and the Human.”

Sadr Al-Afaadil, Allamah Naeem Al-Deen, writes in his Khazaa'in in the footnotes of this Surah:

“It is his habit to whisper in the hearts of humans when they are vulnerable and when the human remembers Allah through chanting His name, the Shaytaan becomes terrified and thus moves aside and hides.”

He further writes:

“This is the explanation of the whispering Shaytaan who maybe from amongst the Jinn or Mankind. The Shaytaan Jinn whisper evil in to the hearts and minds of Humans and puts them in to doubt. In the same manner, the Shaytaan Humans enter evil thoughts and doubts in to the hearts and minds of Humans by portraying themselves as pious guides and advisers. If the human accepts the evil whispers, doubts and thoughts, a bond is formed which becomes stronger as the whisperer then takes advantage and completely misguides the vulnerable human. However, if the vulnerable human refuses the evil whispers, the Shaytaan moves aside and hides. A man must seek refuge in Allah from the evil of the Jinn Shayateen and the Human Shayateen. It is the Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim that when the master of the worlds (peace and blessings be upon him) would attend his blessed resting place in the night, he would gather both his blessed hands and blow in them, after reciting Surah Al-Ikhlass, Surah Al-Falaq and Surah Al-Naas; and then he would wipe them from his blessed head to the whole blessed body until where they could reach. He (peace and blessings be upon him) would do this three times.”

It is also advised by the Scholars to recite Surah Al-Falaq and Surah Al-Naas seven times before sleeping and after awaking, in order to protect oneself from all the evil of this world, including sihr (magic) and evil whispers. If one recites and blows this on others, they are also protected from all evil.

Similar to this, all other acts of obedience to Allah, especially the obligatory and necessary acts and worships like Salah, Sawm, Zakah and Hajj, are key to strengthen the good nafs and to weaken the shaytaan.

Obedience to the Saviour of Mankind, Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) is obligatory, without which there is no protection from the evils of shaytaan. Allah has made him (peace and blessings be upon him) the representative of Allah and bestowed him with immense qualities and attributes and prepared him with strength and might, like none other, in order to protect the people from the evil of shaytaan.

He (peace and blessings be upon him) advised the importance of fighting the nafs and that the greatest enemy is your nafs; and also that the greatest form of Jihaad (struggle) is against one's own nafs. He (peace and blessings be upon him) provided different remedies and cures for the illnesses of different evil thoughts and desires. 

For example, to protect oneself from the evils of adultery and fornication, apart from lowering the gaze as ordered in the Quran, he (peace and blessings be upon him) advised one should fast. Fasting is a way of fighting the nafs and weakening it. When the nafs feels the body's hunger for food, it advises you to eat; however, when you go against its will and deny the body from food, the nafs weakens and the good begins to dominate. Conversely, when the stomach is full, the nafs becomes strong and begins to dominate. This causes many evil thoughts and desires to appear in the mind. Therefore, one of the ways of fighting these desires and evil thoughts is fasting or eating less. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised that we should only fill a third of the stomach with food and stop.

“O group of the Shabaab (young men)! He who has the baa'ah (physical and financial ability) then he should marry, because it lowers the gaze and it protects (from sin) the private part. He who does not have the ability, then he must fast because that is wijaa (killer of desires) for him.”

This shows that to protect the private parts from sin, one must lower the gaze when he roams the streets and should marry, if he is able. There is another narration which says when a man sees what he likes in the streets (an attractive female), then he should return home (to his wife) and fulfil his need and then leave the home again. These are ways of protecting one from the evil desires of the nafs. Fasting is an emphasised remedy to kill the desires. The word wijaa, in the Hadith, is explained by the Scholars as a killer of desires and cutter of evil ideas.

Other than this, there are many actions understood as minor but, in reality, are very affective. For example, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised:

“When one of you awakes from his sleep, he should do istinshaaq (enter and inhale water in to the nostrils and then clean and blow out) because shaytaan enters through the nostrils.”

In a Hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised to fold and put away the bedding when not using it, because shaytaan sits or sleeps on it; and he (peace and blessings be upon him) advised that one should fold and put away the clothes neatly, otherwise shaytaan wears them. From this, some of our Sufi Scholars advised to fold and put away the prayer mat. All these, and other similar narrations, are to protect us from the shaytaan and to avoid giving strength to the shaytaan. If we act upon these, then the shaytaan will become weak and that will rid the evil whispers, desires, ideas and thoughts from our minds.

Following each and every Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is a command from Allah and every act of Sunnah that we perform is a strike of a sword for the shaytaan. If one loves the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), then he will follow every act of Sunnah that he is able to perform. He will also abstain from all evil acts and will not allow his desires to overcome him. This is seen in our daily lives: when a young man falls in love with a woman, he is willing to leave everything and adopt a new way of life for her; he changes and becomes different. Suddenly, he likes certain food and drink that he hated before, he is mostly missing from his usual gatherings and meeting points and he is always on his phone, either talking or messaging. It is wonderful how love can change a person and it is most wonderful when one falls in love with the Beloved of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). When one falls in love with the Beloved (peace and blessings be upon him), then shaytaan runs away from him. When one achieves this love, only then does his faith in Allah become complete and heart filled with light.

There is plenty more guidance in the Hadith to relieve one from categorical evil thoughts and worldly desires, which requires time to present here. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) also gave a general way of killing all desires. That is the remembrance of death. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to remember death, as much as possible, throughout the day and night and he advised that it destroys the desires and the worldly materialistic needs.

Therefore, one should remember death and that this world and everything on it, as Allah has said in the Quran, will finish and nothing will remain. This destroys not only the evil desires and ideas of a person, but also the permissible worldly desires and ideas. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) also informed us that this worldly life is like the moisture left on a finger pore when dipped in the sea, while the hereafter is like the sea and more because the hereafter is eternal. When one understands this and embeds it in his mind, he realises the worthlessness of following his desires and needs of this worldly life. These are a few of the ways the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised his blessed and honourable companions to fear Allah and avoid the worldly desires.

When one fulfils these points that I have mentioned above, then he will soon complete his faith and his desires will become in accordance to the Quran and Sunnah; he will be inclined towards good; he will find immense pleasure in his worship; he will eagerly wait for the next Salah, so that he can bow down to his Lord; and he will find more pleasure in performing ablution with cold water than he finds in eating biryaani at a wedding. The Saviour of Mankind (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“None of you is a believer until his desire becomes in accordance to that which I have brought (from Allah).”

And verily, Allah is the All Knowing.

Faqeer Zahid Hussain Al-Qadiri

18th Sha'baan Al-Mu'azzam 1436 AH